This week was a tough one that I mostly kept to myself. Until now. On a blog. For all to read. I want to write about it to help myself remember later in life because I know that nothing happens by accident. The pictures are all out of whack so I will summarize here and then let the pictures unfold for you below.
On Monday I kept crying. About everything.
On Tuesday I realized I was 3 days late...ya know...late. I bought a test and it was positive but VERY faint. I got a digital test and it read plainly, "pregnant". Emotions set in and I went from shock, to tears, to excitement, to unknown, to OhMyGosh what are we going to do with two!? Had a great girls night out at T.G.I.Friday's but I kept my secret to myself because I just wanted to.
On Wednesday I cried a lot again. I asked my friend Ashley if she could make Kennedy a shirt that said, "big sister" on it so that we could tell our families on Friday. A friend brought me a Mocha from Starbucks just because.
On Thursday I took it easy and played with Kennedy in the front yard. We picked flowers and put them in our hair and just had the best day.
At midnight on Friday the bleeding started. At 6 I called the oncall Dr. At 9 my labs were drawn. At 11 I spoke with my Dr who said I was not pregnant but was experiencing a chemical pregnancy. The rest of the day there were tears and phone calls explaining to family what my week had been like. I didn't have the energy to explain it all to friends. Most of you are finding out for the first time from this blog post. I still don't have the energy to explain it all to friends. I am having the hormonal surges that early pregnancy brings along with cramp and mood swings.
Yesterday a friend brought me coffee just because (because God has a plan) and Ashley (who I didn't need the shirt from) left flowers on my door step.
This week has been one of questions and I know that God has a purpose for everything under the sun. This week forced me to slow down, pray more, and seek His face. It reminded me of what is the most important part of my life and where my priorities should be. This week I've hugged Kennedy & Kyle tighter, stopped to smell the roses, taken time out, refocused, cleansed, and have been renewed. I am thankful that the Lord has a perfect plan for my life and that He knows how my story goes. I think we all need a little surrender sometimes. Here I am! Send me!
Flowers in our hair!
Pumpkin Spice Latte. Yes please!
Such a sweet girl!
Lots of journaling