What a day! I don't want you to feel sorry for me. Really I don't. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I told Kyle I was ready for us to start a family but today I'm not sure why I thought I was ready to start a family. I kid. Sort of.
We headed to Spicewood, TX for a family reunion today and it was great and not too hot and we ate some wonderful BBQ and saw half of Kyle's family. I love going out there every year. Kennedy took a 45 minute nap in the car on the way home and no other nap today.
At 5pm she brings me her swimsuit (cute) and we swim and play in the sprinkler outside. This was fun but there were tears from her when it was time to go inside. Once inside I take off her swim diaper that holds absolutely nothing and she pees all over my hand, arms, and legs because naturally I was changing her diaper on the living room floor. We both laugh.
By 615 she is absolutely done! She wants to nap but I know it's less than 2 hours until we start the bath/bed routine so I try to feed her dinner. Everything I made for her ended up on the floor and there were more tears. And tears.
From 630-8 there was: screaming, tearing up a book, pulling all toys out, and fits. Looking back now I think I should have just bathed her and put her to bed but I was so afraid (and tired) that if I did that she would wake up 45 minutes later and I would have to do bed time all over again.
She never ate anything other than a couple of spoonfuls of applesauce for dinner.
I had to put myself in time out and take a 10 minute break during which time Kyle had her laughing as they played with her zoo. As I sat there I was thinking about what a grump Kennedy was this evening and how terrible it is to put up with a tired baby. I was almost in tears myself when I began to wonder if God ever feels that way about me. Does He get tired of my whining, tears, moods, and poor choices? Does he frown when I pass up what He wants for me? Do I miss His blessings? Am I resting enough in HIM?
I cannot ever express all that I have learned about God by being a mommy to Kennedy Kate but He reveals Himself to me through her more times than I can count. That little girl has blessed my life and teaches me so many lessons about me. I am so thankful for grumpy and tired blessings and I pray that God would just use me!